Monday, April 16, 2012

A little over 7 weeks

I can't believe my baby girl will be 8 weeks old on Thursday.  Time has gone by so quickly and slowly all at the same time.  It may not make much sense, but it seems quick because she is growing so fast.  It seems slow because it is hard for me to remember what my life was like without her.

We are doing well.  We've had our ups and downs, but everyday gets better.  One of my biggest disappointments was breastfeeding.  I was only able to breastfeed for 4 weeks.  I was able to pump a little until she was 5 weeks old, but I had to supplement with formula.  I just wasn't producing enough milk.  My poor baby was starving and losing weight.  After she was being fed enough, she was a much happier baby.  I cried for days when I had to stop breastfeeding.  I cried every time I gave my daughter a bottle filled with formula.  I read so many things about how good it is for babies to be breastfed.  I was heartbroken that my body failed in another way.   The pediatrician really made me feel better and gave me a pep talk.  I love him!  I still feel sad when I think about my failure with breastfeeding.  However, I try to look on the bright side.   My body allowed her to arrive safely.  There was a point in time when I wasn't sure if that would ever happen.  I was a formula fed baby and I am just fine.  Failure with breastfeeding was a huge disappointment that I didn't prepare myself for.

Now our sweet Charlotte is growing and thriving.  It kind of breaks my heart to watch her grow so quickly.  I am not prepared for that yet!  I wish I could hit a pause button.  She is doing much better at sleeping longer stretches at night.  Who knew 5-6 hours of sleep could be so exciting?  I am really loving being a mommy.  It is a bit tougher than I thought.  Much more exhausting than I anticipated.  Please don't think I am complaining because I am not.  I am extremely grateful and thankful for this girl!  Even though it is harder than I thought, I am enjoying every second of it.  I thank God each and every day for this miracle.

Here are a few more recent pictures of my sweet baby:

                                                   Charlotte is so tired of having her picture taken!

                                                                       Just hanging out!

                        This one is my favorite!  She is getting ready for bath time!  She looks like an angel!


  1. Awww she is adorable! You are not a Failure!!!! You are mommy of an adorable baby girl and you had to go through ALOT to get her!

  2. Oh hon, You sound just like me I was so hard on myself with bf, but its ok, and im glad you know that now...anytime you need anything or have a question send me a message ok!!!! Ill always do my best to try and help....she is soooo beautiful!!!!!! Im so happy for you!!!!! Love u!!!

  3. Oh Ann, you're not a failure just because you weren't able to breastfeed. I understand why you would feel that way, but think instead how good it is that you were able to take a step back and start giving your little one formula, even though breastfeeding was so important to you. The closeness between you and your girl will be there anyway as long as you're holding her when she gets her bottle. I didn't breastfeed my eldest and he's perfectly healthy, where as my youngest is still nursing and, he's the one who ended up with cancer, so there are never any guarantees either way. Sure, breast milk contains things that the formula doesn't and, it's the best choice and all that, but when it comes down to letting your little one go hungry or not, then the formula will definitely knock the breast milk down from that gold platform. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You're doing your best and that's all that matters.