Sunday, May 15, 2011

Mothers Day and Other Updates

I am very pleased to inform you all that I survived my cousin's wedding and Mother's Day. Neither were as difficult as I thought they would be. Praise God!

The wedding was fine and I actually had a good time. I got to catch up with a few friends that I hadn't seen in quite awhile. The only thing missing was my hubby:)

I did skip church on Mother's Day. I just couldn't do it. It was too painful. I slept out of town the night of the wedding, and my husband had a couple of surprises for me when I got home. The entire house was clean from top to bottom. He had some roses for me in a vase on our kitchen table. He had a card from our animals (including paw stickers). I also had a gift certificate for a massage at a local spa. I was so touched. It turned out to be a peaceful Mother's Day. The only thing missing was our baby. My husband did such a good job of taking a day that I was dreading and turning it into something completely different. I really do love him so very much.

On a different note, please keep the people of South Louisiana in your prayers as there will be flooding this week. The town my mom and dad live in is in danger of high water. We spent the day getting things straight at her house. Sandbagging is exhausting!! I am worried about all of these people and animals.


Sunday, May 1, 2011

Spring Break

Whew! Well, this is it! My spring break is officially over. Tomorrow morning I will have to wake up early and return to work, and I CAN'T WAIT! I really missed my students and I can't wait to be greeted by 21 sleepy faces tomorrow morning. It will take them a few days to get used to waking up early(just like me). I had a nice break. It started out difficult, but it got better. I completed everything I wanted to get done.

Good Friday and Easter were just as difficult as I anticipated. Everything was about baby and pregnancy because most of my cousins either have kids or are pregnant. It made me so sad. However, I survived. I went through the motions and I survived. That's all I really have to say about it.

On Wednesday, I met with the preacher from the church I grew up going to. I was nervous talking to him, but I knew he would be understanding. He and his wife have suffered multiple losses and a failed adoption. I felt better after speaking with him because he reassured me that I am NORMAL. Even though I feel so insane sometimes, I am NORMAL. It was nice to have some reassurance.

I have a wedding that I have to go to this weekend without my husband because he has to stay in town for work, and the wedding is out of town. Pre-miscarriage this would have never been a problem. Post-miscarriage, I really depend on him to be there for me. I hate going to social functions without him. Sometimes I just need to lean on him. I am not looking forward to it:( Because the wedding is out of town, I am going to stay the night. My parents and sister are staying too. I think I've decided that I am not going to church on Sunday. Going to church on Mother's Day will be just too hard for me (especially without my husband). I hope God forgives me.

AF will be arriving any day now. I can feel it. Just ready for it to come and get it over with. I think I've decided for sure to wait one more cycle before calling my RE to get started on another ovulation medication. It will be so much easier for me to go in for ultrasounds and stuff in June when I will not be working. Because of where my RE is located I would have to leave work early or come in late to get the ultrasounds done. I'd rather not have anyone notice that. I don't want any expectations. It will also give me some more time to drop a few more pounds. I've stalled the last few weeks and I ate everything in sight this last week while I was off. Any comments or suggestions about me waiting until June would be greatly appreciated. I am always second guessing myself.

I really am excited to head back to work tomorrow. Only four more weeks until summer!