A little over 7 weeks

I can't believe my baby girl will be 8 weeks old on Thursday.  Time has gone by so quickly and slowly all at the same time.  It may not make much sense, but it seems quick because she is growing so fast.  It seems slow because it is hard for me to remember what my life was like without her.

We are doing well.  We've had our ups and downs, but everyday gets better.  One of my biggest disappointments was breastfeeding.  I was only able to breastfeed for 4 weeks.  I was able to pump a little until she was 5 weeks old, but I had to supplement with formula.  I just wasn't producing enough milk.  My poor baby was starving and losing weight.  After she was being fed enough, she was a much happier baby.  I cried for days when I had to stop breastfeeding.  I cried every time I gave my daughter a bottle filled with formula.  I read so many things about how good it is for babies to be breastfed.  I was heartbroken that my body failed in another way.   The pediatrician really made me feel better and gave me a pep talk.  I love him!  I still feel sad when I think about my failure with breastfeeding.  However, I try to look on the bright side.   My body allowed her to arrive safely.  There was a point in time when I wasn't sure if that would ever happen.  I was a formula fed baby and I am just fine.  Failure with breastfeeding was a huge disappointment that I didn't prepare myself for.

Now our sweet Charlotte is growing and thriving.  It kind of breaks my heart to watch her grow so quickly.  I am not prepared for that yet!  I wish I could hit a pause button.  She is doing much better at sleeping longer stretches at night.  Who knew 5-6 hours of sleep could be so exciting?  I am really loving being a mommy.  It is a bit tougher than I thought.  Much more exhausting than I anticipated.  Please don't think I am complaining because I am not.  I am extremely grateful and thankful for this girl!  Even though it is harder than I thought, I am enjoying every second of it.  I thank God each and every day for this miracle.

Here are a few more recent pictures of my sweet baby:

                                                   Charlotte is so tired of having her picture taken!

                                                                       Just hanging out!

                        This one is my favorite!  She is getting ready for bath time!  She looks like an angel!

Our Sweet Girl Has Arrived!!!

I apologize for taking so long to give an update.  I have been quite busy adjusting to my new life!  Charlotte Leigh arrived on Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 8:25 pm.  She was 7 ponds and 12 ounces and measured 19.5 inches long.  I am head over heals in love with her!

It may be wrong to post a picture of her crying, but I love her cry.  It reminds me that she is living and breathing.  Our delivery did not quite happen as planned.  I dilated to 5 cm and then did not progress any further.  So, sweet Charlotte had to be delivered via C-section.  I am loving every second with her even though I am exhausted.  She is so very much worth it!  Thank you all so much for your prayers and support.  The only problem we've really had is jaundice, and that seems to be improving everyday.  I look forward to sharing more about my sweet baby girl very soon!

Sooner than I thought...

Well, it looks like I will be meeting my baby girl a little sooner than I expected.  I went for my weekly doctor's visit on Tuesday (Valentine's Day).  I am dilated 2 and a half cm now (up just a little from last week).  Everything looks really good.  The only concern Dr. P  has is the size of my baby girl.  He said that I have a "good sized baby" in there, and it would be best  not to let her get too much bigger.  He didn't give me an estimation on her weight or anything like that.  I am thankful for that because I think any type of  number may have terrified me.  Anyway, we are scheduled to induce labor this Thursday, February 23 if Charlotte has not arrived on her own before then. 

I have so many mixed emotions.   I am so ready to meet her!  I have waited so much longer than 9 months to have this baby!  However, it seems unreal how quickly everything is happening.  She will only be 12 days early, and the doctor assures me this is not too early to deliver.  Part of me is nervous about the delivery aspect as well.  So many labor horror stories float around.  However, no matter what, she will be so worth it. 

My plan of action is to focus on the excitement of meeting her and holding her.  I will use this to get me  through whatever may come.  Please say a prayer for our upcoming delivery!

36 Weeks....Still in Awe!

So, I just got home from my 36 week appointment.  First of all, let me say that I still have a hard time believing I am really 36 weeks pregnant.  I am so thankful for this baby.  I dreamed of this for so long.  It's surreal.

I had my baby shower in the middle of January.  It was awesome!  I  was never really sure I would get the opportunity to have one.  I got so many cool presents.  Even more important than presents, I left my shower with such a feeling of love.  I felt loved and I felt the love everyone has for Charlotte.  I am so in love with her, and I can't wait to  meet  her.

My visit to the doctor today made this pregnancy even more real.  I am dilated 2 cm and the doctor said she is quite low.   It is so exciting to know that I am progressing.  For so long I was frustrated with my body because it didn't seem to do anything is was supposed to!  Finally, I feel like my body might not be so broken after all.  It's taken me so far. 

I thought I would be more concerned/nervous/scared about the labor & delivery.  I really feel peace about it all.  I know it won't be comfortable(duh!), but it will be so worth it.  I've been waiting so much longer than nine months to meet this sweet baby.  I dream of her sweet face very often!  I can't wait to meet her!

3 Years

Dear Baby Tyler,
       It's been three whole years since you've gone to heaven.  Mommy's heart still aches for you and misses you so much.  There is still not one day that goes by that  I do not remember you or think of you.  You were here for such a short time, but had a big impact on my life.  Because of you I am closer to God and I am trying my best so that we can be together one day.  I will always think of you and miss you.  I think of the toddler you would be now, and I wish so much that it were true.  I know you are safe and at peace.  You will always be my first baby.  Please watch over us.  We love and miss you. 

Love,
Mommy

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to everyone!  I am so thrilled that 2012 has finally arrived!  My baby girl will be born this year.  God has been so amazing to us.  I have been so incredibly busy and I haven't been able to update.  I had an ultrasound at my December appointment and Charlotte is doing just fine.  She weighs 2 pounds 7 ounces.  My January appointment also went well and her heartbeat was 157 bpm.  I am just amazed with her and I haven't even met her yet.   I love her so very much already.  I am currently 31 weeks 4 days.  It is just amazing how far we've come.  I have just a little over 8 weeks left:)  I am anxious to meet my girl, but want her to bake in this oven as close to 40 weeks as possible. 

My husband and I attended a "Labor & Delivery" class on Tuesday.  I found it to be very informative, but a bit scary too.   However, I know I will do whatever it takes to get my sweet girl here safely.  I am still in awe that I even have reason to go to a class like that.  My shower is next weekend.  Can you believe it?!?  There was a point in time when I wasn't sure that I'd ever have a baby shower.  Now it is just around the corner!  I still find it hard to believe.

I am also very proud to say that I made my first purchase for my Charlotte.  I got her a picture frame that I am going to put her ultrasound picture in for my shower.  The picture in the frame is what came with it.  I just haven't had time to change it out yet. 

When I saw the quote at the bottom of the frame it brought tears to my eyes.  This journey has not been an easy one, but it is one that gives my baby girl tons of love.

I have a feeling 2012 will be one of the best years of my life!  In a little more than 8 weeks, my Charlotte is due to arrive!

Still Here

Hello All! I hope you all had a joyful Thanksgiving holiday. I know I did...I ate very well:)

I am so sorry that I haven't been blogging much lately. I have been quite busy with work among many other things. I have just ended a week off from school for Thanksgiving break and it was much needed. I truly was exhausted!!!! My first weekend off I went on a girls trip with some girls from work to the beach in Gulf Shores, Alabama. It was a lot of fun. Right outside our condo, there were many, many butterflies. I thought about my sweet angel baby and the angel babies of all of my online friends that have offered me so much support. Here is a shot of one of those butterflies:)

The sight of the butterflies brought such a sense of peace and love to me.

I spent the rest of the week spending time with family and Christmas shopping. I am proud to say that my in-laws are the only people left to buy for. My husband is in charge of that! My husband and I also have to get gifts for each other. We are going to get each other a rocking recliner and video camera. Both baby related items that we will very much enjoy:)

Last month's prenatal visit went very well. Everything is right on track. I have another visit next week and I get an ultrasound this time! I am excited to get the chance to see my sweet girl again:)

I am currently 26 weeks 1 day now. I can't believe how far I've come. I am so thankful for her and I pray that everything continues to move smoothly. I still feel well. I only find that I am more easily exhausted.

I have to honestly say that I have not purchased even one item for our daughter. I thought I would, but I haven't. Many people have given us gifts, but I have not actually bought anything! I think part of me is still a bit paranoid. I am doing better and I love this child so very much, but sometimes doubt creeps up. These moments aren't as frequent as they used to be, but they still show up:( I just want to bring her home in March. I pray that it happens.

Good news is that I only have 3 weeks until I get 2 weeks off for winter break. My time at work will be more broken up now up until it's time for baby.